Girls.

“Nowadays the girls come to me, I don’t mean to brag but it’s up to me…..” NOT. That’s just a quote from a song that I have used to start off this blog entry. It doesn’t apply to me not because I lack the looks or anything. I got the whole package, in fact, it is getting better. It’s just that I have not been marketed well enough and that I don’t have the cash on me. There are less qualified men who can use that line and rightly so.

I’ve heard this a lot of time from people. There are million other girls in the world, Is the ony girl in the world? You will get a better girl than her.

Ok to the latter I would say (this only applies if the person saying it is an attractive enough female) if that is the case, can will you be with me then? . To the rest I just have this to say. After taking the girls who are of ethnic groups or religion out of the equation, you will only be left with the girls that are of the same ethnic group and religion as you. Why is race and religion an issue? It’s because there will be another battle if the girl happens to be from another race or religion, a war if the girl turns out to be Muslim.

I am not ready, not even lift a finger or raise a word to defend or fight for any other girl. I’m too tired to do that and I am not convinced enough for other girls. So now sticking to the girls that are of the same race and religion, men being men are superficial we will want someone who is attractive, good-looking, gorgeous, with a good body, etc etc all the superficial stuff. I’m sorry ladies if that upsets you but I’m sure many of you already know this. Looks and what we see do matter no matter how ugly or fat we are.

So now taking the unattractive ladies out of the picture (beauty is in the eye of the beholder so what might be attractive to one but differ to another). We are not left with the attractive ones.  Most might have already been taken and a lot of times I see by people who aren’t quite up to the mark, they just have good luck. Then there are those that have a bad reputation and are labelled sluts and easy etc etc. They might have a chequered past but even if they want to reform, they are not given a chance because the society only knows to put them down all the time.

Again, I am not going to fight for them also. So what does that leave me with? The attractive good girl that fits the bill and where is she? I know where is she but I’m afraid there’s only one of her and there are others in the queue. Kiska number aayega, kisko petah? So to those that say that there are other girls, better girls yada yada just shut the *&^% up and put your money where the mouth is and show it to me.

Dreams

I lived a dream and I would like to share this with you. I had a job that had the perfect work-life balance. It was a job that I had always wanted since I graduated from polytechnic.

To clarify my point, to be a policeman and a detective specifically was a childhood dream. The reasons why I signed up to be a policeman was because I had to serve National Service and what better way then actually living my childhood dream. I had no long-term ambitions associated to it. All I wanted was to experience the life of a police officer. By doing that, I would also earn more than the peanuts I would get being a NSman. Well comparatively, it is peanuts.

I had always marked down the job as a Broadcast Engineer/Co-ordinator as the dream job since I heard about its job scope from my friend who used to work as one. I realised that dream. It was a job that didn’t have that many responsibilities attached to it, which allowed me to persue my other commitments at the same time. I didn’t have to come to work so early and I didn’t work everyday. I worked only when I was scheduled to.  What’s more for ever day that I worked I earned $200 which was a neat sum of money if accumulated. Taking the example of those who work 5 days a week and with 4 weeks in a month, the total number of days would be 20 and the total I could earn in a month would be $4000. Absolutely brilliant.

I didn’t mind not working 5 days a week because I knew comfortably I could earn so much without CPF contribution. Who wouldn’t want that kind of money? I had a girlfriend that also felt like a dream-come-true. I have honestly been praying to God for love since my late teens and I couldn’t believe my luck when I got her. There were days when I would wake up and couldn’t believe my luck that I got her. It really felt like a dream.  The girl I’ve always wanted and have always been chasing. I love her with everything and she loved me too. Ridiculously she would claim at times that maybe she loved me more than I do when it was always the other way around.

Everything else was great in life.  Mine didn’t last long unfortunately and very mysteriously. It all came crashing down one after another. This was the instance when things go wrong, everything goes wrong. I wonder who might have cursed or cast an evil eye at it for it to just end just like that with the snap of a finger. However that is just the tragedy of my dream.

Who says dreams don’t come true? They do…..Who says dreams don’t last? They do…….There are people in everlasting dreams, living their dreams. Beautiful to hear. God bless them. So dream on, you never know one day God will help you to it. I would also wish that Satan doesn’t cast its evil eye on your dream because it can all crash like it has for me. There are a lot more evil eyes than good ones in this world today sadly…

Rakhi.

A colleague of mine was being chased by an attractive 35-year-old woman, who wanted to make him her brother, today on Raksha Bandhan. He just skipped around declining her offer each time. She then gave him a choice of her or another attractive but younger woman. I joined in this chase cum debate as I had completely nothing to do except posing and sitting.

I gave my 2 cents worth and said that it’s nothing wrong being her brother and getting his hand tied with the rakhi. To that he said if he went around doing that, how is he going to live? I answered you’re a married man after all and he said “So? Can’t marry again?” I received kudos from the ladies for what I said stating that it’s not right.

Being free, like match that was lighted, I started analysing what had just gone about. I feel what’s the use of being forced to marry if you feel your wife is not adequate for you or just one wife is not enough. Marriage, for me, is something that requires lots of commitment, responsibility and it has to be a decision that one has to be very sure about before going ahead with it. I feel, if you are to marry to someone, she has to be someone who would be adequate for you, someone for whom you would remain faithful to. Anyways the man has also the responsibility of being faithful and not betray the trust and faith, his wife has in him. After all the lives of 3 persons are at stake; pati, patni aur woh.

Yes I do know that I might be accussed of thinking too much but hey the grey cells in the brain are meant to be used. It certainly was not something to be taken seriously but certainly worth analysing. Through that, I can see where I stand in such matters. . It is just interesting to me and I like issues and situations that are thought-provoking. That is just how I am. Perhaps willing to debate all the time…….perhaps haha.

Queen

The following are the lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody, one of my favourite rock songs of all-time and also one of my favourite song to hear to when I am depressed (and any other mood for that matter).

Is this the real life-
Is this just fantasy-
Caught in a landslide-
No escape from reality-
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see-
Im just a poor boy,i need no sympathy-
Because Im easy come,easy go,
A little high,little low,
Anyway the wind blows,doesnt really matter to me,
To me

Mama,just killed a man,
Put a gun against his head,
Pulled my trigger,now hes dead,
Mama,life had just begun,
But now Ive gone and thrown it all away-
Mama ooo,
Didnt mean to make you cry-
If Im not back again this time tomorrow-
Carry on,carry on,as if nothing really matters-

Too late,my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine-
Bodys aching all the time,
Goodbye everybody-Ive got to go-
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth-
Mama ooo- (any way the wind blows)
I dont want to die,
I sometimes wish Id never been born at all-

I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramouche,scaramouche will you do the fandango-
Thunderbolt and lightning-very very frightening me-
Galileo,galileo,
Galileo galileo
Galileo figaro-magnifico-
But Im just a poor boy and nobody loves me-
Hes just a poor boy from a poor family-
Spare him his life from this monstrosity-
Easy come easy go-,will you let me go-
Bismillah! no-,we will not let you go-let him go-
Bismillah! we will not let you go-let him go
Bismillah! we will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go let me go
No,no,no,no,no,no,no-
Mama mia,mama mia,mama mia let me go-
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me,for me,for me-

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye-
So you think you can love me and leave me to die-
Oh baby-cant do this to me baby-
Just gotta get out-just gotta get right outta here-

Nothing really matters,
Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters-,nothing really matters to me,

Any way the wind blows….

Itni shidat se maine tumhe panneh ki khoshish ki hai,ki har zarre ne mujhe tumshe milane ki sazzish ki hai agar ending happy nahi toh picture abi baaki hai mere dost.

Kehte hain agar kisi cheez ko puri dil se chaho toh puri khayanat tumse milane ki kohshish lag jaathi hain…. thanks for reading again people.

Protected: The Secret Post

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

The Question Was…..

The question was where was someone as sweet as you all this while? If only I had met you earlier….The answer was “Perhaps people like me didn’t go out that often….” This has been taken from the sitcom Two and A Half Men.

I can relate to it because I am sweet and I didn’t go out that often. There was a point of time when my friends pointed out a billboard that said ” Why did the dodo get extinct?” The answer was “It should have got out more.” They directed that to me, justifiably so. My question to anyone who asks the question where was someone as sweet as you all this while…..if only I had met you earlier would be……”Well its not too late now. I’m still alive and single.” Unless of course you are not single and maybe dying soon then perhaps its too late.

Anyways putting that aside there’s also the matter of being at the wrong place at the wrong time. No matter how sweet and good you are, you will never get anything. You just need to be patient till the right time comes along. Be patient if you really believe in it I say. You live once, you can only really love once. Who knows you might have a love story worth sharing, that’s better than what we see on screens. Who knows?

With that I end this issue. I’m not looking for anyone although I am single. Who knows I might just have a damn good love story to tell my grandchildren in the future.

On dearly departed Michael Jackson….I’ve read some sub-nicks on MSN saying “I miss you MJ!” My response is I don’t think many of us knew him personally and didn’t have him quite as much in our lives to miss him. Unless of course you had regular contact with the great man. We knew him through his songs, his performances, from what we read of him. He is a legend. I am fan but he lives on in our hearts, it’s impossible to miss him that way.  I’ll still be trying to do the Billie Jean when I walk on the pavement or hoping that the tiles at home light up the moment I set foot on them.

The best sub nick I’ve read for the King comes from my friend Sunny: ” God eagerly wanted to watch MJ perform in Heaven”. Well said. Waheguru! Amen!

Isolation

I shall first welcome myself back to the blogging world. It has been sometime since I last blogged. Things have been good, not so good and sad.

First port of call; football. I’ve already spoken on the horrendous showing of the Italian national team in the Confederations Cup. The silver lining in the dark cloud came in Sweden in the form of the Under-21s. It was a joy watching them and it really was a pity to see them get knocked out of the semi-final just when they were showing a gradual improvement from their performances in the group stage. It was the best Italy had played in the whole tournament and they got knocked out.

Well at least the lost in the best way possible (if there is such a thing at all). They lost with their heads held high. In football, some days things just don’t go for you and that was what happened against Germany which is also the beauty of cup competition; one bad game, one unlucky game and you’re out. A lot of potential in the squad and certainly a breath of fresh air to the stale senior team. I just hope these players get more of a chance at their clubs next season and really make a mark to be included into the senior team following 2 recent graduates in Rossi and Montolivo.

Moving away from football, Michael Jackson has passed away and everyone knows that. I was in denial when I got the news. Twice I dismissed it as a rumour only to be confirmed when I switched on the computer which automatically logged me onto the Internet and brought me to reality.  A childhood hero he certainly was, someone whom I listened his songs to when I was a kid. Perhaps I was in too much of an awe looking at him dance that I never attempted his dance moves. For me it’s sad that he has passed away with such controversy associated to his name, it’s sad because as the King of Pop, he didn’t deserve all that.  God knows if there was any truth in it or not but for his good name I hope there weren’t any. May his soul rest in peace, that’s what I prayed to God for.

All of a sudden now, Michael Jackson is cool again. People ridiculed him and laughed at him during his controversial times, now he has become an “in” thing again. It’s the first time in my lifetime that I’ve had to experience the death of a favourite celebrity. One of my other favourites; Freddie Mercury, passed away when I was only 6. I had trouble at that time to understand the meaning of being gay and how he contracted AIDS let alone fully grasp the magnitude of his death. For Michael Jackson, his songs have always been cool for me, his showmanship, his dancing it’s one of a kind. There’s not going to be anyone like him. His death has terribly saddened me but life goes on.

I’ve titled this blog isolation because I have isolated myself from the rest of the world. Perhaps it’s easy to do so in my case. My friends call me when they need something from me otherwise no-one remembers me when they want to have fun. I’ll do my calling and chasing to remind them I am still alive but to no avail. I don’t feel I’m that important to anyone because besides my parents when they are at work, no-one contacts me to just talk to me. Everyone who does has got something to ask or something to tell or some favour they need. I oblige because it’s better than not being contacted at all, at least I am of some use. Moreover, I am not a person who would help anyone I can even if I only know you fleetingly or you’re an enemy.

I am still jobless. I’ve tried a lot. I’ve put in a lot of job applications but the ironic thing is that the last two job offers I got required me to fork out money first to get a licence before I can get a job. Even temporary, part-time jobs have ignored me. What is wrong? It cannot really be just that times are bad and we are in recession. Bad luck? Bad karma? What is it?

Well anyways I got a business and I would really love to keep myself busy. I do my bit of calling around, of corresponding and of enquiring to do that. However, I’ve hit a bit of a quiet patch now and the anxiety and restlessness grows. I really need to look for more clients to keep myself busy. It’s not the money that I am after, it’s to kill my time every single day. I can’t spend too much time in the gym. Eventually I got to go home. When the Confederations Cup and Euro U-21s were on, it killed my time but now that they are nearing its end, there’s no football to watch on TV as well.

As you have read above and you would have already known, Michael Jackson passed away recently. People said he went into isolation after a period of time. I am in isolation now but for different reasons to him. Why am I in isolation? Just to cut myself out from the rest of the world so that I can have as little feelings as possible and not get attached or associated to anyone or anything. My commitments remain and my football team has been an outlet from this isolation.

Now I do feel down talking about this period of time, it’s not a relief, it doesn’t make me feel lighter. I am still the same because things are still the same. I just got to find ways and things now to keep myself up and my spirits up. Take care everybody and once again May You Rest In Peace, Michael Jackson. You will never be forgotten.